Cinema Sins starters
“I’ll tell you everything wrong with ___ in less than ___ minutes.”
“The first problem is that you exist,”
“This scene does not include a lap dance and I’m disappointed.”
“Stealing by accident is still stealing.”
“You’re enunciating through your nose.”
“Apparently saying 'I don’t know’ in a lecture about the pyramids is a huge no-no.”
“Oh. Awesome. Could you be a little more vague?”
“I have never heard anyone use that pronunciation in my life.”
“Only dopey nerds have allergies.”
“You know you’re a workaholic when getting called back to work is the only thing that can snap you out of your deep depression caused by your son accidentally killing himself.”
“The hell? Do you even coffee?”
“You brought in an expert to help you decipher the code but you didn’t show him everything? The fuck kind of logic are you following?”
“He’s drawing on the screen with a permanent marker!”
“And so he owned it. But he was stupid, so he put it in storage.”
“First of all, that was morbid.”
“You look beautiful and all, but maybe now’s not the right time to be posing or photos.”
“You’re not even offering anything? Just an open hand of gentrification?”
“Yes, the questions was lame, but you didn’t have to be such a dick-tard about it.”
“I’m killing, smoking, and having everyone else do the work. You really have to appreciate my growth into a beautiful person.”
“That guy may have a big dick, but he also IS a big dick. Dick.”
“That’s like recycling all the onscreen actions of Two Girls, One Cup.”
“That’s the ‘I’m totally in love with them but have no chance’ face.”
“BDSM isn’t open during business hours.”
“I know you’re comically inept so I’ll let this one go.”
“Bonding by way of vandalism. Hmm- Bondalism?”
“That’s the fancy way of saying you killed him.”
“Sure, the one thing…. the ONE THING you had to do in the middle of a kidnapping plot is to fire a flare up in the goddamn air.”
“Your friend is the valedictorian of this school? How badly did everyone else fuck up for them to become the valedictorian?”
“To be fair, those birds shouldn’t be chirping. They should be eating that person I killed.”
“Not even the wind or that Bronco could undo the mid-life crisis look in your hair.”
“Nothing good happens when it involves gloves and a Bronco.”
“You’re perfect, in a perfect home and likely have a perfect florist, so why not buy the real thing instead of a painting?”
“She was taking that dog to wherever as an accessory, which makes her an awful person and thus rightly tortured for the rest of her life.”
“You even walk like a thoroughbred horse at the Kentucky Derby.”
“Bow down, bitches.”
“Have you see the shit down here? We don’t need no parental advisory.”
“Please tell me she didn’t flood the city again just to make this video.”
“Ooooh, it’s a metaphor.”
“These are some stupid rules.”
“I would hope the things you eat didn’t complain, because they should be already dead.”
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